you have the best daddy in the world. he is so patient with you. giselle, we think you are amazing, but you have your moments that would drive anyone insane. and daddy handles you with such care and ease. we read about how you are little and just trying to figure out this world, and you are just a little soul we are trying to guide. so we don't want to make you feel bad, and we realize you are usually tired, so we just try to wait out your tantrums.

giselle you are almost three and you are so happy cause "your a big girl", but sometimes you like to be little...no mom I'm little. I am just in shock that you are growing up. daddy is reading to you like he does every night. you are practicing counting right now. I hear everything on the monitor which I listen to religiously. you really want to do a cartwheel..you try but land on your head. do a cartwheel mom..again, again! you love to "jump high" on your trampoline, but you fell off again, so we are thinking it's got to go. you have a new "old" swingset from craigslist and Auntie Kristina helped us find it. you love it! we just got back from Crescent Bar for boating and swimming fun, and they had a big firework show the weekend after the 4th, so you got a double 4th. and we went to longview for the 4th w/your cousins. you had fun playing. you sat with jeffrey to watch the fireworks and you would comment on each one on the color. and how load they were. this weekend is your birthday and you said you want to ride the bus, and you want juice water and cars. I think we can make it happen :). so glad you are only asking for simple things. I hope we can teach you that it's memories and people you spend time with that matter and things are just things. be grateful for your friends and family and you will realize you don't need much else. makena, you are five months now, and you are still as happy as can be. your smile is so big and your eyes squint up when your happy. you cry for me with more force and demand now, as you want to feed when you want to feed. and you still wont take a bottle so I am attached to you. I am happy I can be here for you whenever you need me. I think this is the way it's supposed to be. mom and child so close and attached. I cherish every moment I have with you. I wish every mom could be there for their baby when needed. I am so happy I can comfort you. I think god wanted it that way. I couldn't imagine being away from you. I sneak out for a run or groceries, but am always, and will always be here for you. you would love to sleep next to me, but I still put you in the bed next to me, since I don' t want to suffocate you. you love to blow razberries, and you grab my face and started laughing. rusty grammy's dog barked at you and you would just laugh and laugh. it's the best sound in the world. grammy stayed with us and played with both of you. we had a nice time, lots of walks and fun. she got to see giselle perform at little gym and school.  I love you babies.

Happy moms day

To my loves who are the reason I celebrate today, thank you for being such blessings To me. Someday if you choose to be a mother, and I hope you do, you will feel the amazing happiness and joy a child brings to your life. I am tired as heck bit happy.

things I want to remember

giselle
handprints on the window
you talking to yourself in the mirror..I am your friend, I 'm not your friend. be nice to me. no you be nice to me.
but why
I love you too mom.
still holding my ear on occasion.
not going in the toilet..even for disneyland
fighting naps, cranky nights
riding your bike around the kitchen island
you insisting on opening and closing your car door
wanting stipstick
tangled hair
messy face
little gym
jungle junction little einsteins
singing you are my sunshine and 3 special steps
excitement for your birthday
sister love and squeezes
ring pops
golf cart rides
waking up so tired and insisting on getting up cranky
wheres daddy every morning I want to go get him
friday night sleep in mommys bed!

makena
giggles
screeching
razberries
ticklish on your thigh
putting your hand in your mouth like your shy
dadadada
wobbly sitting
floppy ears
bathtime with sissy and me
blowouts in the carseat
reaching for me.
crying for me to eat
late nights, early mornings
fighting the bottle
biting me
two teeth
love for bananas
acceptance of carrots
licks of sissys popcicle
getting carried by papa
laughing at rusty
do you love your mamma so early in the morning song

babies. we just had gg visit, and she sure enjoyed both of you. we went to idaho and stayed at a b&b that had a pool, and we had a lot of fun.
makena, you are three months and you smile nonstop, and you have the same smile as your sister, where you smile with your eyes. can someone really be that happy! I can't believe it! gg loved holding you, and you would just smile and coo at her. it was a treasure to watch.
giselle, you would read a book at night with her and she enjoyed that, but you are two and off running around. you asked gg when you saw her in the bath if she had milk in her boobs too. she got a kick out of that.
makena, you still won't take the bottle, and I am with you all the time. you don't seem to mind. you gave gg a parting gift by having a blow out on her lap. you eyes are looking blue, but deeper and darker.
giselle, you are so funny. the other day you asked if we were going to bingo night.you heard it on a cartoon, and you just repeat. it's cute. and you always ask why over and over and over. you went to the dentist and did so good. I can't believe you sat in the chair and let them clean your teeth! every day your hair is sticky with something, and you don't mind being a mess..and you like to dress yourself. the other day was nice and hot and you wore boots and your hat. pretty cute.
you had fun at the easter hunt this year, and since we don't let you have suckers, when the timer went off, you found every sucker in the field, and were so excited! you like the easter bunny this year, and we got a picture with him. makena, you are so enjoyable, I almost can't stand how much of a little blessing you are. I just eat you up. giselle and I kiss you nonstop. you love it and have started grabbing giselles hair. you found your little feet, and stand up so well. and you just smile your little face off. you went in the pool for the first time and loved it. funny, considering you don't like the bath. but happy you had fun! we are going to palm springs and vegas next week...hope we have a good trip!
we feel so blessed to have you two treasures!

My Parents
Now that I have children of my own,
I realize the hard work and love it takes to be a parent.
and now I can appreciate every stage you went through with me, except you had four of us to handle.
and I want to say how proud and happy I am to call you mom and dad.
except mom, you didn't breastfeed us, and I think that is why we all had ear infections.
we sure were lucky to have you as our parents.
I can't imagine the work that went in to cooking and cleaning up after all of us, and you still do it. when you come here, or we stay at the house. maybe you treated us too good, because I don't like to clean much, and I could go days without seeing the vacuum. in fact, half the time I don't know where it is.
mom I don't know how you took us to germany at such a young age by yourself. traveling with toddlers is not easy, and you seemed to have me in dressed nice and took us everywhere. I can't seem to get the sticky knots out of Giselle's hair every day. I must have been an angel. It meant a lot to see oma and opa and spend time with them where you grew up. I appreciate hearing the stories of your growing up, as I can't imagine how hard it was to live in a refuge camp, and have your parents struggle to survive. I also can't imagine losing a sister who you never got to know. or leaving your family at 18 to move to the US. if you didn't, you would have never had the blind date with dad, and none of us would be here. it's amazing how life is meant to be. I am so glad you didn't end up with Dennis ;). We are all lucky to have siblings, and although I think we are all weird and very different,  especially Maria :), it is a blessing to have siblings, and we all get along. it should make you realize you did something right to have us all get along.
I know over the last 35 years of my life, how much you have shaped me to be who I am. I am content and happy because I am loved by you both so much. I lucked out, you were never pushy to make me do things I didn't want to do, but supported me in the decisions I made, and you let me be a kid, and never pushed me to grow up too quick. you took us on many trips, and even camping and girl scout camp, which I know wasn't moms favorite, but you took me anyways. you spent many evenings helping me sell cookies door to door, and made me cabbage patch dolls and care bears. I know the time and love you spent making my childhood special. dad spent so much time with us playing tennis, which i never was good at, and helping us learn to drive a stick, racquetball, skiing, camping, running, swimming, soccer, and taking us to every river, and lake all around. and the trips in the van singing the beach boys will always be memorable. and not that you didn't have enough kids of your own, you always let us bring our friends. in fact, you were always a safe haven for all the neighborhood kids, who's own were sometimes homes were filled with alcohol, drugs, and unfit parents. even after the house was broken in to, you still allowed Jordan's friends to come over. thats something most grandparents wouldn't do. you must know how much you mean to all the friends that got to spend time at the house.
dad, your character is one I truly look up to. you have shown by example on how to be a giving, caring, and honest person. I could only hope someday to be as good as you. I tried to marry someone like you, and I think I have. thank you for being such a good dad that I wanted to find someone just like you, that treats their family well, and loves their children. you do so much for others, and the church, and us that it's hard to find fault in you. although you do have selective hearing. and sometimes you need to leave since happy hour.
mom, I sure enjoy having coffee with you, and just being with you. I know some girls who don't like their mothers, and although I don't enjoy the casino as much as you, or smoking, I can't imagine anyone I would rather spend time with. the feeling of love surrounds you, and you are the heart of our family. I can't imagine life with out you. you must realize how much a part of me you are, and how happy I am knowing I have you. you are the comedian too. I enjoy all the stories of you and dad, and especially the one where he tore up your beautiful yard, and made it look like there was a gravesite with the raised grass. you two are very funny, and you should have your own honeymooners show.
you have also been the most loving grandparents to the girls.
forty years is a lot to celebrate. I hope you realize that we realize how amazing it is. even if we are in vegas on your anniversary, we will be celebrating there. for heavens sake you surely didn't let me forget it this year.

hi girls

I wrote a long post and it deleted, so I just haven't posted in a while, because I felt like I poured my heart out and it all was lost~ but alas I move on. makena, you are three months now...my little baby. I could just eat you up. I just sit and kiss you and sing to you and love you all day long. I can't get enough of you. I really have had a laid back approach to parenting this time, and so far so good. you sleep well, and you eat well, and you smile smile smile all day. you are so happy and calm and its incredibly irresistable. I seriously almost bite you :). but, you wont take a bottle..you gag, so freetime for me, is pretty much impossible. not that I mind, as this stage goes by so fast, but it's a little hard. you are so advance...of course:), you love to stand and you hold your head so well. you can sit in the play thing now and you look all around, and you talk and try to communitcate with me...agoo. agoo.you are in the 98% so you are bigger than most babies. giselle, my little girl, everytime I hear a song about how fast kids grow, I just want to cry. if i could bottle you up and hold you at each age I would. I just love everything about you and its hard to see you grow so fast. you are so loving to us, and you still grab our ears, and you like to put your nose against our face as comfort. you do it to the baby too. you are all over her. you leave wet marks in her hair, all sticky, from all your kisses. and then you step on her forehead and leave a shoeprint. I am just waking her up mom. I am just wanting her to be awake. I am just playing with her mom. you are all over her. it's cute, but always have to check that you dont smother her. you talk to her like she understands everything you say..makena I am so proud of you. it cracks me up. you took your stoller to home depot with your baby the other day. you love your babies too. and you insisted on getting hunter and auntie andrea a flower. you are very thoughtful. you had your school review, and they said you always worry when other kids are having a bad day and you try to make them feel better. that made me so proud how loving you are. we have been pretty active considering trying to do anything with a newborn and toddler is difficult. the feeding in the car, the crying in the carseat, the getting ready..it's all a challenge..wanting a snack, pooping the pants. literally all day it's just a crazy zoo, but I love it. not that our house is clean or I get anything done, but I love taking care of you both. most days, giselle you come up to my bed around5 when you wake up yelling for daddy...we sleep and feed till around 8, and go down for breakfast. giselle you "help" cook eggs and toast, while makena swings in her swing. I drink coffee after coffee, and we down breakfast, but giselle you usally don't eat and cry for pink cookies or something awful. then we play or color, or head to the community center to play, or to the zoo, or kidquest, or the farm, or the beach, or park...lots of fun and activity. then giselle you have school a few days a week, and I go to the gym to work out..sometimes its twenty minutes until makena has a blow out, and they dont change diapers, so off we go. then it's grocery shopping or me editing photos, or sleeping until my baby giselle gets out of school. I want daddy to pick me up. but when you get to the house,you are so excited to see me. and I always ask you to tell me all about school...what did you eat...who did you play with. you sometimes share...devin was not very nice to me..she is sick. anthony is my best friend...and you are always singing songs from music class with jason. then we eat and play and daddy reads you books (same ones over and over and over..the dinasaur one and one other one. you say your prayer and off to bed. unless its friday..you get to sleep in "mommy's bed"and you love that! you both are the loves of our lives...and we are so lucky.