19 1/2 months

I am getting sad again that I am not staying home with you. I just miss you so much. I can't complain, because with my job, I do see you a lot, and I came home today just to rock you. I just want to love you all day, and I get sad that you are growing up so fast. I am not kidding. you are not my newborn anymore, and you are a little person. I love it, but just miss it. by the time you are three, I am staying home. I need to enjoy you and realize if I don't this moment, these precious moments will pass me by. I am reluctant to have another baby, because I love our time. I want to spend my extra time with you and can't imagine having to split that now too. we take many baths together, and walks and trips to the park, and just playing. I just can't imagine taking care of a newborn, when I want to be just loving you. although, I hear a mothers heart just grows and she has more than enough love to give. I just love the you and me time, and I cherish every minute of it. I so bad want to take you out of your crib at night, and I do sometimes, but most the time, I realize, you need to learn to sleep on your own, and I am not doing you any favors waking you as you dream. you are just becoming more and more of yourself everyday. you can communicate with us, you have for a long while, but it just cracks us up that you communicate with us now. you went from being a newborn, to talking to us. and so fast, it's just amazing. you sing "eat your nanna, eat eat your nanna" or more chant it, and the song I'd catch a grenade for you "ya ya ya"..you sing the ya ya part, and you even notice it on the radio. and you dance so cute hands up and down with a little squat, and turning around. and you try to get hunter to dance with you too, and he does a squat move. you two are pretty cute together. when he is not with you, you are always asking me where he is. you still love the outside and ask all the time to go out..at night, whenever, you love being outside. it doesn't matter how cold or rainy it is. we took you to whistler and you had fun in the snow and sledding. and they have a big rec pool that you loved. you would jump to me from the side. you can buckle your life jacket and put the lid on a water bottle. you like to help unload the dishes, and you want to do everything yourself. you put your shoes on yourself, and socks sometimes, and you are working on the other clothes. you say potty/emenem, all the time! you sit, then you are too impatient and run around...your attention span is really short, unless you get in to trying to buckle something or get your shoes on. you just move on to the next thing. you run so fast and cute. I just worry you are going to biff it hard again! you always try to sneak past me at the mall or wherever, and u just go and dont look back. it freaks me out. I never thought I would think about the kid leash, but I get it now. I am this close. you still love to love on your babies, and kiss them and rock them, and put them to bed, or sometimes you just throw them, but for the most part you love them. you know all your body parts...neck, lips, cheek, ear, knee, it's fun for you to go through it all. and in books you know the sounds animals make, and you know parts to books that are coming up, or cartoons you know what is coming up. and you run around the house pointing at objects and saying who's they are mammas bra, dadda's shoe, dadda's phone, hunters coat. I even showed you a picture of you and you could barely see the high chair you were in and you said hunters chair. we have two high chairs and you always want to sit in your girly one. some objects we can't believe you would even know who they belong to, but you do...and you know that hunters mom is auntie andrea, and dad is uncle tom, and same w/your sissies, you call their mom sissies momma. I dont' know how you can understand that already. and when I point to pictures and ask who the boy or girl is, you point to the right sex. and you know your right foot and left foot. sometimes you amaze me, I just don't know how you pick it all up. and you remember people and their names and it's fun to have you say the names. I am really tired right now, you are getting up earlier, and you either want to lay and drink milk for a little bit, or your ready to go running to my bedroom door to go down the stairs. you like to slide backwards or on your butt, or stand and not hold on to anything, which freaks me out. I have to jump out of bed and chase you. you like when I do rarrrr and act like I am going to tickle, so I chase you a lot or you try to do it to me. you like to try and shampoo your hair, but then you don't like the water part, and you love brushing your teeth..or eating the toothpaste, but hey, at least you are doing something to combat that sweet tooth. I wish I remembered all the funny things you have been doing..every day it's a story. and you are still so sweet, you say love you momma and sess (bless) you momma all the time. and randomly say huggie. or give kisses. it's heart melting love. I can't get enough of you. your laugh your smile that squints your eyes and makes your face glow. and your little giggle. and the goodbye kisses you blow. you are my angel. love you!